Leaving on a jetplane . . .
A couple posts back I mentioned that this journey would take a lot of courage in that, without food being my coping mechanism, I’d have to learn to face my fears and anxieties head on; I’d actually have to, ya know, deal with things. The last couple days I’ve really had to put that sentiment to good use . . .
Tomorrow Josh and I are taking a trip to Florida. We’re schleping ourselves to the airport at the buttcrack of dawn, hopping on an airplane, and spending half of the day hurling across the country in a giant metal bird. Easy-peezy, right? For most, yes . . . for me? Pretty much the most terrifying thing that I could ever dream of. I. Hate. Flying. It’s not that I haven’t had much experience flying, I’ve been in an airplane a many many times throughout my life – I just hate it. I hate the recycled air, I hate the noise of the engines, and turbulence makes me want to crawl into a dark corner and curl into a fetal position. Simply horrifying.
In the past when I’ve had a flight looming over my head, I’ve taken solace in any food I could get my hands on. This time, however, I have demonstrated some pretty awesome courage. I haven’t binged once! It’s been hard – especially since Josh’s birthday was just the other day and I could have easily gorged myself on cake and frosting – but I’ve been ok. I’ve done some breathing exercises to calm myself, kept my hands busy with a crochet project, and, when the urge to just munch has gotten too overwhelming, I grabbed some baby carrots and hummus for a whopping total of one point!
Long story short, I feel good about myself. My confidence is still sky rocketing, and yesterday when I looked in the mirror I actually saw my cheekbones and chin! Both have been hiding for quite some time now. It was a very nice reward for all of my hard work. I have a feeling the real test will be tomorrow morning when I’m waiting in the airport, though. I’ll be nervous and hyper anxious, and there will be coffee and doughnuts and margaritas all around me, but I’ll resist. Hear that, Food Gods? I’m gonna be ok!
Send me some good vibes and see you when I get home!
